I’ll just let you know that I’ve been swamped with side projects for what seems like the last month or so, and I do feel like complete shit for not updating. I tried putting up my best-of collection, but of course that doesn’t satiate all my loyal daily readers, and to you I profusely apologize.

I do want to let you know that some pretty fucked up shit happened in the meantime, and I wouldn’t be a sucka and hold out on you bitches.

I’ll finish the story with Georgia girl (she’s gone now), how I lost my booty call (this one hurts, literally), and what happened last night to get my car towed and impounded.

Sit back, relax, and just wait a little longer.

You exhibit less patience than a toddler on a dulce de leche high, for fuck’s sake.

Ha! I kid. You people are wonderful, all of you. And go ahead and keep sending me pictures of you in your panties, ladies. It’s the only thing that helps me through the day.

By Robert Shagwell | Aug 12, 2005 | Permalink |

Personally chosen by me, The Big Dick. These are my favorites for whatever reason. They represent my best work, and best exemplify the character and flavor you’ll find in most of my posts. These are in chronological order, so for you psych majors, that means the oldest ones go first.

Kinda like seniors at the buffet.

Remember, you can always click the “best of” link up on top to see this page.

And if you haven’t already read these, you’re in luck. Enjoy.

I Think I’ll Pass - a story of debauchery and deception in Brazil.

What Bitches Notice About You- relationship help from yours truly.

Piss On Your Face - the story of my golden adventures in Mexico.

Life Skills for a Playa: Public Restrooms - because everybody needs a little sense when on the shitter.

Design Flaw Series: The Vagina - my proposed amendments to God’s current design.

Breaking Up - the story of breaking up with (what I thought was) my perfect girl.

Why You Don’t Have A Man - why women can’t seemingly land that “perfect guy” (hint: try harder).

The Rodeo - a story about what happens when bitches try to be too cool for school.

Getting Some Ass? - sometimes, a playa gets shit for luck.

River Beauty - one of the greatest fucks of my life.

Ride of Your Life / The Eye of Justice. Sort Of - a two-part miniseries about my sexual romps in Utah.

By Robert Shagwell | Aug 3, 2005 | Permalink |

Phew! She’s gone! That was definitely something else!

I’ll fill you in later tonight.

I hope you know it’s a real ball-breaker, too.

By Robert Shagwell | Aug 1, 2005 | Permalink |