There’s no post for today, but I would just like to introduce my faithful readers to a new daily feature I think will really take off. I’m calling it the Dick Shagwell Daily Challenge.

Each day, after each beautifully-composed and well-written piece of heavenly prose I post, I will append a daily challenge to my readers. I know most of you don’t really step out of your personal bubbles all that often, but I plan on changing that. Want to score better with the ladies? Here’s your chance to get there. Want to have a great conversation piece next time you’re at work with something crazy/stupid/just plain weird you did the day before? Shit, wanna just make a difference in somebody’s life? You can sign up right here.

Today’s Daily Challenge: Hold the door open for someone. Yea, it’s not that hard, I know, but trust me, this karma shit will definitely get back to you. If the person is unappreciative or fails to say a simple “thank you", go ahead and catch up with them and give them shit. A lot of shit. “Just a simple fucking thank you would have done me fine, but your pathetic lack of general social skills must have gotten in the way. Oh, and you’re fat,” for instance. If they’re a good-looking bitch, who knows what might happen. And if she sees you opening the door for her kids, that’s bonus baby-daddy points for you!

Email me back with any short stories that come of these. As always, my email address is dickshagwell@gmail.com. I know most of you won’t get into fistfights over this one, but who knows. Someone will always takes it to the max. They always do.

Take it to the max, bitches!

Update: I’ve received word from a few of you telling me how pussy this whole thing sounds. Let me clear this up: my vision for this thing is for my army of Dick Shagwell followers to go and actually do the daily challenges. Just like in Fight Club, you gotta prove yourself first, and then you can get assigned newer and more…creative challenges. I want readers to tell me they haven’t missed a daily challenge in 3 months. This doesn’t mean that all the challenges are going to be pussy. I’m thinking of stepping it up and doing a “kick a whore in the ass and run away", or “hit on a girl by giving her all smiles with a huge hunk of spinach on your front tooth". Lofty, but attainable as well. Just like any good challenge should be. Hope this clears up some of the misconception.

Have you completed today’s daily challenge yet? Get crackin’!

By Robert Shagwell | Jul 26, 2005 | Permalink |